” The wound caused the fear, the hate … and the music has healed me” - Odetta
Tonight I’ll be performing with the Seattle Women’s Chorus at the Seattle Center House, near the Space Needle. This is significant in a lot of ways. First, I haven’t performed publicly in any capacity for over eight years. Second, it’s the first time, since I moved here in June 2006, that I feel as though I’m part of something in my new home city.
It’s interesting, because I never would have come here if it wasn’t for Laura. I mean it’s not a place I would ever have even thought to choose to live. Brandon and his friends think Seattle is great and even when I meet people and say I’m from here, the response is almost always “Oh that’s a wonderful place!” Well, there are some things about Seattle that I don’t find so wonderful, but I’m adjusting. Mostly that is weather related. I have discovered that the weather, lack of sun specifically, affects me deeply and I have to guard against that. Now that I know, I can take steps to keep it from happening. On the positive side, though, it is one of the very friendliest places I’ve ever known, it’s a city of people who are genuinely interested in the environment (we were “The Emerald City” long before being green was trendy), and being able to look around and see snow capped mountains and beautiful tall trees is something I never take for granted.
And now I belong to a group of women who are serious about music and singing, just as I am. That’s very nice. It’s not that we only do serious music (one of the songs we are singing in this concert is called “I Gotta Fluffy Sweater”), but you can’t even get into the group unless you pass a fairly tough audition. The director is organized, punctual and there is not one minute of wasted time at a rehearsal. I love that. And it’s been very, VERY challenging for me. We have had to memorize 18 songs for this show, 3 of which are not in English. I’m still cramming this afternoon, because for some reason the Spanish is not coming as easily to me as the Latin and Swahili did. Strange. Anyway, it’s been hard and many times I felt that I just couldn’t do it. Laura pushed me and encouraged me and I’m glad she did. Because tonight will be a real milestone for me.
Tonight will also be profoundly sad, although I don’t think it will hit as hard as next week when we perform in a theatre at the University of Washington. Tonight is more a public event so it might not affect me as much. As I said above, this is the first time in over eight years I’ve performed, the last being at Brooke Point High School in Stafford, Virginia. I was on staff there as a teacher in the Performing Arts Department, as was my husband at the time, Stephen Carr. I appeared as a guest artist in his production of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, as Prospera. He was at every performance, of course, as he has been at every performance of anything I’ve done in theatre or music, since I met him in 1974. Every single performance. Steve passed away in 2005, so this will be the first time I perform without him sitting at the back of the theatre, quietly supporting me and being proud, as I was of him. People suffer losses all the time, I know, and life does go on. And I’ll sing tonight and I’ll do fine, even without Stephen, I know this. But it’s significant, and it’s sad and it’s wrong. He was only 58 when he died and I still get angry about it, pointless as that is. Brandon says Steve will be there in spirit and I will count on that.
So - moving on! We are only doing half our concert repertoire tonight, singing for about 45 minutes. On Tuesday we do a “runout” to Mount Vernon, about 90 minutes North of Seattle, close to the Canadian border. Then next week we have tech and dress rehearsals at Meany Hall at the University of Washington, with the concerts being next Saturday and Sunday. Seems like a hell of a lot of work for only four performances, but this is a perfect example of the journey being just as important as the destination. I have almost 200 women in my life that werent there before, and I’m slowly getting to know a handful on more than a nod and smile basis. I am amazingly shy in this group and Laura has actually done a lot better socially than I have. The next quarter we are doing a show about Broadway women, and there is a retreat to Port Townsend in March, where we actually spend three days there, rehearsing and bonding. I think that might be a turning point for me and I might settle in as well as Laura has.
Laura is an Associate Member of SWC, because she doesn’t sing. (She sings fine, just not at the calibre needed for the group, and doesn’t read music). As an Associate Member she has all the rights and privileges of singing members, but she does other stuff instead of performing. It just so happens that she is working closely with the Company Manager, Randy, and they get along really well. So Laura is distributing and selling raffle tickets (a huge fundraiser), and all sorts of other things that keep her busy and in which I have absolutely no interest. Works out well, though, and she will be going to the retreat also. We took on SWC together and it’s good for us to share something like this.
So tonight begins what might be a long association with SWC, or this might be the only year I do it. I haven’t decided yet. It’s a lot of work and commitment and as of this moment, I have not had too much payoff for doing it. I suspect that will change tonight when I’m wearing my sparkly top that is the SWC concert attire, and we step out in front of many people to sing at the base of the Space Needle. I suspect the familiar feeling of joy and adreniline will take me over when we start to sing. I suspect it will be fun. And healing. Hope you’ll be listening, Stephen. I miss you.
If you’re interested in hearing a little of how we sound, go HERE. Click on “Christmas Waltz” and/or “Lo How A Rose.” These are recordings from a year or so ago. We are doing these two songs this year and we really do sound like this. I’m proud to be a part of such a talented group.
Tags: Burgett, Seattle, Seattle Women's Chorus, Stephen Carr
I saw the most wonderful movie tonight : ”Slumdog Millionaire.” It was film making at its best. Fast paced, interesting, enlightening, suspenseful, shocking, invigorating … all those things. I applauded at the end. And I left feeling upbeat and grateful for the life I have. Can’t ask for more than that, can you?
